Why?

I'm home alone, having a pity party, all my friends are here...that's why I'm alone...HoHum.

Apart from a few walks I have done NOTHING.  So I've been asking myself why.
Why do I want to stay unfit.
Why do I want to be fat.
Why don't I want to be healthy.
Why don't I want to go exploring.
Why Why  Why...
And I don't know.

I would be healthier if I moved more.  That's a fact.
I say I want to be fitter but maybe I don't really.  I mean if I wanted to be fitter then why aren't I working at it.  I know I can ride 20km and I like riding so why don't I?   I like bushwalking so why don't I go on some?   I like climbing rocks so why don't I go more often to places where I can climb them?

Why Why Why...
What benifits am I getting from being fat and unfit.  There must be some but I don't know what they are.
I *think* it could be that I am not unhappy with it, maybe.  I have clothes that fit, I can walk or ride when I need to, I'm still a nice person.  What would be different if I was fitter?

If you know the answers then please let me know them. 

I'm still going to keep trying because I know that one day things will jump in place and I will be all gung ho again.  Hopefully it will be soon.


OK, positiveness...It Will Be Soon.