The End.

The end is nigh, not the end of the world, that was last week.  This is the end of this year.  I have been contemplating the end of this blog, the end of trying to get fitter and healthier, the end of walking and riding when I hurt and the end of disappointing myself every week.

After more than 2 years I am not all that better off.  Maybe a bit fitter but not enough to brag about.    Same size as I was 2 years ago and seriously thinking it's time to get rid of those bags of clothes in the smaller sizes.
 
I am starting to think that a bigscreen TV, Foxtel and chocolate cake for lunch every day would be a nicer way to spend my time. 
I  don't watch TV though, we don't have Foxtel and I don't have a stove to bake cakes...Just as well really because it would be so easy to give up on it all.

I need to rethink things, come up with a better plan, implement the better plan...

I dare say I'll be back here next year, maybe even tomorrow...Maybe...

What do you think, is it worth continuing?   Is it worth having sore hands and arms every time I ride?  Is it worth the pain of walking?   Is it worth going without cake every day?

Last 3 days.

I haven't achieved much over the last few days.  It has been hot but I could have made more of an effort to get out earlier and now wonder why I didn't. 

Saturday.  Walked, walked and walked some more.  We also ate too much icecream and had hot chips for tea so it was just as well I walked.  We had been away overnight and when we reached our town we decided to buy chips for tea...Now I had this *great* idea to walk home from the chip shop while husband waited for the chips to be ready.  So I started walking...I wasn't far down the road before I starting regretting it but it was quite a while before he came along so I could flag him down and get a lift the rest of the way...
Sunday.  Apart from a bit of swimming I didn't do much moving at all.  The heat is starting to get to me or I was just too lazy and I left it too late to go then couldn't be bothered. 
Monday.  Last day of 2012 today and it's going to be another hot one and once again I didn't get out early enough.  I did do some stepping inside, not enough and am running out of time to get more in.  A bit of swimming around the dam.

I feel like I should be fitter than I am, I should be fitter than I am..but my fitness does reflect the effort put in so that says it all really.

Friday, Weeks Roundup.

Sat  6km ride
Sunday.  8.5km ride.
Mon  Walked the 3.6km block.
Tuesday Walked the 3.6km block.
Wednesday.  Ride 12 km.
Thursday.  under 2k walk and 7km riding.
Friday. Rode 11km.

I thinkI've done more moving this week, most times things are easier and on the days when they aren't easy I'm recovering quicker so things seem to be improving.   It's been hot the last few days and next week will be another hot one but as long I get up and out before 6am things shouldn't be too bad.  Moving much throughout the day is not something that I will be doing even if I wanted to but early morning...nice.

More Moving...

As it was too windy to ride at the beginning of the week I walked the block Monday and Tuesday, it wasn't windy on Wednesday so I rode the bike.  I intended going to the bridge and back, this is an 8km ride but once at the bridge I thought I'd just go to the sign that I could see.  Once there I was pretty close to another sign and from there I could see the first corner so I rode to that.  Once there it was very tempting to keep going the 2 or 3km to the hall but my hands were tingling, my legs hurt, I needed a drink but forgot my water bottle...so I turned around and *zoomed* home.  It seemed a lot quicker coming back, the road goes slightly downhill but by the time I was at my corner I could barely pedal and I kept looking at the speedo to see how far I had ridden.  I get to our driveway and was *this close* to 12 so rode passed a bit then turned around and came back so I could congratulate myself for riding 12km.   I kinda fell off the bike when I stopped, everything hurt, but I recovered not long afterwards and came up better than I thought I would.

Thursdays moving was going to be the same ride but instead I rode into town and walked a dog back to here with the intention of doing the reverse later on in the day.  The day was hot and by evening it was still hot, husband had to go into town so we bundled the dog into the car and we took her home that way.  I was worried that if I walked her she would struggle too much and get burned paws.  She is a big, slow, black dog that makes walking look hard.   After putting her back in her house I got on me bike and thought a bit then came home the long way.  It was hot, once again I didn't have my water with me...but ended up with 7km for the day plus the 2 or so walking.  There was a bit of swimming as well but not a lot and nothing that will get me into any competitions...Feeling good.

Walked Again.

I went for another walk around the 3.6km block this morning, Husband came with me and I wore my heart monitor...He says it says we walked for under 35min.  Yesterday I timed it at 45 by my watch...I *think* I walked the same speed...I know I didn't knock off 15 min so maybe I timed wrong yesterday.  Ten minutes is a lot to get wrong though so I will do it again sometime this week and see what it says then.    He says I burned 151calories.  Wow, that's worth doing then  Being a tad sarky there if you couldn't tell.  Daughter burned off 500 by mowing the grass out here one time...there's a thought, I will wear it next time I mow...if I remember...and it doesn't go missing again.   Not today though, it's going to be hot this week and it is already too hot out there to mow.  And I don't do calories anyway so no point, just might be interesting.

There's a story about this heart monitor.  I posted when I first got it, 4 months ago now, I used it once, took it off and put the watch part and the strap on the table.  That was the last I saw of the strap until yesterday...I found it when I was looking for an sd card that we bought a couple of weeks ago...that was put on the table too...

Today is Sunday!

Idiot!!  For some reason I thought yesterday was Sunday, it wasn't, today is.  So today is the last day of the 8 week challenge.  Doesn't matter much, nothing new will occur today, I still weigh the same, still wearing the same clothes and they seem to fit the same.  I did get an 8.5km ride in this morning and don't feel too bad because of it.  I will drink my water, eat my fruit and veg, mow some more...
Daughter even said something to me that told me it was Saturday yesterday so I have no idea how I lost a day...or have I gained one now with today...

Challenge Ends.

The 8 week challenge that I joined ends tonight.  I didn't do half as well as I thought I would.  No weight loss, no cm lost, no great impovement to my fitness.  It showed that I wasn't eating as many vegies as I thought.  I don't move enough. No surprise there.

Today, last day, I so wanted to get full points, was sure  I would, I didn't.  I started off good but was upset this afternoon then was home alone, had no-one to bitch to and ate cake.  Was going to go buy hot chips, really wanted to, but went outside and did more mowing and dug up all the garlic instead.   So looks like I'm not a complete failure, I can overcome some things and with a bit of practice I should do better. 

Todays eating was OK..except the cake bit.
Eggs x2 for breakfast.
Strawberries.
Savory mince mid morning 1/2 bowl.
Savory mince 1/2 bowl. early afternoon for lunch. 
Apple fresh from the tree.  The first for the season.
Strawberries. 
Cake! 
Chicken, vegies and quinoa all mixed together.

I didn't have the smoothie this morning so instead added everything that I would have in that to the satay chicken.

Rode this morning and lots of mowing throughout the day.

New day tomorrow and the only challenge will be to move enough and eat healthy for most of the day.

Shut-up and Ride.

Well that was harder than it should have been.  Harder than it would have been if I had of kept at it more often.

I am not long back from a bikeride, the first in too long a time.    I was going to go to the corner and back but decided to go the other way to the stop sign and back.  I was coming up to the stop sign and trying to talk myself into going further up to the bridge...then I heard a noise and some sheila on a flash looking bike zoomed past.  She had turned the corner and was away up the road before I was close enough to need to slow down...

" I am never going to be able to go that fast, it's a long way to anywhere going that way,  see how fit she is,   I'll never be able to do that, gosh she was going fast I can't do that..."   So with all that stupid negative talking in my head I turned around at the stop sign and decided to take the short way back home.  I was halfway to my corner when I told myself to shutup and enjoy the ride...it seems I can't shutup though but this time the talking was more positive and I *zoomed* passed the shortcut corner and went the long way home.  The whole ride was only 6 km but much better than the first idea of to the corner and back ride of 3km.  Better than the 3.6km small block ride too.  Not as good as the 8km bridge ride but I will do that one sometime over the next few days.

Negative talk is keeping me fat and unfit, I need to work on that. 
How to you overcome the stupis self sabatage?  Any and all ideas welcome please.

Still not getting full points.  No idea why I want to stay fat and unfit.

Week 7. Day 1.

We're into week 7 now so only 2 weeks of the 8 week challenge left.  I will stick to it even though it hasn't made any difference to my weight or size.  I like that it has made me record what I eat more than I did and I will go back over that soon but I know that I am eating too much cruddy foodstuff.  Husband has agreed that I can go through the freezer and throw out, feed to chooks, all the buns and cakey type things.  They were given to us but we don't need it and it will save on chookfood by giving it to them.

I can see that I don't cook when I have beeen outside and come in later than 6, I can't be bothered and would rather just grab something easy like already cooked chicken, or fish or nuke some eggs.  It did mean that I wasn't getting enough vegetable more days than was good for me but now that I am having the smoothies every morning that is not an issue.  Already today I have had 4 sm smooshy apricots, 3 carrots, comphrey leaves, sweet potato leaves, 1/2 zuchinni.   Add in whatever others I have today and I feel I have the vegies covered. 

I need to get some moving in yet, I hate when I don't get it out of the way early.  It is getting hot out there now but I will mow for a bit and maybe ride later on.

Week 6 Ends.

And another one bites the dust.  I am no thinner, no lighter...maybe a bit fitter.

Looking back over this week I don't think there was one day that I didn't eat some sort of crap food.  I have eaten plenty of fruit and veg but way too much rubbish.  For someone that prides themself , or used to, on the lack of crap they ate I have failed myself big time this week and need to get back into eating the way I like to with fresh unprocessed food.

There is 2 weeks left of the 8 week challenge.  Two weeks to make some sort of effort to get back on track...and then to stay there.

Day 4.

5am coffee
8am  green smoothie
8.30oatmix
1pm  chicken and salad
3ish  small piece banana cake
bread, honey and cheese.  Should have had fruit.
1/2 dozen small strawberries
7ish  savory mince

Home from work and visitors there, spend hours out in the shed, came in for food around 7 then back outside.
Didn't get 45min moving in and again ate cruddy sruff...35points.

Day 3.

Up early, a bit of moving, a green smoothie, half the daily quota of F&V before I left home at 7am.

Green smoothie
coffee   should have made the outmix up here but got busy.
green smoothie
cold meat   beef and pork
toast and meat   beef
green smoothie
corn thin, plain.
apricots x 3 or 4   Home and outside near the tree.
bun   Too late to cook anything and this was easy.
Apricot.  on the bench...
Went and cleaned teeth because the buns are still there too.

Not enough proper food again.  I wasn't home, was busy...too many excuses and not enough planning.  I took a jar of GS to work and drank it throughout the day so at least I had enough fruit and veg.

The moving was up though so full points for that, 37 for the day.

Day 2.

5.30  coffee
7.30  oatmix
         green smoothie
1.30  donut  On the way home, in the car.   Grrr.
3.00  eggs x 2 + veg
         Green smoothie.
         fruit
handful of licorice allsorts   Grrrr.
 green smoothie
green smmoothie

Somehow today I haven't eaten much solid food but have had plenty of fruit and veg with the drinks.  This afternoons smoothies have had kefir, 1orange, some berries, 4 carrots, handful brocolli, half a zuchinni.  The one this morning had silverbeet as well.
Plenty of moving again with walking for hours around a shopping centre, a lot of it quite fast, and nearly an hour this morning doing side steps, knee lifts walking on the spot...

Week Six. Day One.

We're onto week 6, haven't the last 5 gone quickly.

Husband and I had a Date Day today, we went up to Kings Park.
5.30  coffee
7       oatmix
11ish.  hot chips and chocmilk.
3pm   green smoothie.
licorice allsorts.  10, maybe.
6.30  roll with polony, cheese and lettuce
8.30 coffee
        small handful fruit and nut mix.
I did pack a healthyish picnic but it was a long walk away in the car.  The chips were really nice though, best we have had in a long time.  Threw half the chocmilk out as it wasn't what it should be.
Mondays moving - Walked for more than 5 hours.  Climbed the DNA tower...twice.

Week 5 Ending.

Saturday.
I woke up feeling very negative but *sucked it up* and started doing stuff and finally managed to feel a bit better about it all.  It seems that the longer I sleep the worse I feel when I wake up.  This morning I didn't wake until around 6.30, when I get up at 5.30 I don't seem to feel as bad.  But I can't set the alarm as there is nothing worse that being woken up by some noise when I'm not ready.

6.45  Coffee
9ish   Chicken schnitzel and 1 boiled spud.
12ish  coffee.
1ish   Eggs x 2.
         Green smoothie. 1x fruit and 1/2 veg sorted
2.30  Apricots x 3 or 4
8pm  Banana.
         Green Smoothie.  Rest of veg sorted.
9.30  bed.
35points
Not enough real food today.  We *did a cow* this afternoon, not ours but for friends around the corner.  It meant that I was outside all afternoon and into the night so tea didn't get eaten but I am finding that having the smoothies is a quick and easy way of getting the green stuff into me so on days like today when there wasn't time for tea I know I still have some goodness inside my tummy, with not much effort on my part at all.
I biked around the small block this morning then bopped around the house to get the minutes up.  Was planning on doing a half hours mowing to top it off but people came before I started so it didn't get done.

Sunday.  Up and coffee'd by 5.10.  Feeling better but not like I should.
5.05  Coffee
7am  Eggs x 2 + 1 boiled spud.
10ish  Banana.
11.  liver and veg.
apricot
mintie
dimsims x 3
potato
7pm  egg,
        chicken
        big salad
8pm  green smoothie.
40points

It was too windy for a ride this morning so at 6am I walked to the corner and back. 35 - 40min. Gardening all morning.
Not a bad weekend, could have been a lot worse seeing as how negative I started it.

And so ends week 5.

Think And It Will Be..

I woke up feeling sorry for myself this morning.  You know, or maybe you don't, too fat, hurt too much, crappy, messy house, was gonna have a pity party but no friends to invite...the whole stupid woe is me morning.   Read and remembered about someone who has reason to feel sad and down and was a bit ashamed that I was whinging when they were having a real hard time with things...Even the *been there, done that* thoughts felt bad but in fact they weren't, it was empathy as I know how they may be feeling. 

Since then I have been busy, helping son with clearing out the shed, tidying inside, putting stuff away so it is off the benches and table.   So it seems that the answer to stupid, crummy thoughts is to get up off your bum and do something constructive.  Who knew!

So I am feeling better about things.  I am still too fat but my choice.  Still choose to be unfit and for some dumb reason I choose to live in a messy house with windows that need cleaning.  So why whinge about it all when I could change things and all it would take is a bit more effort and some positive thinking on my part.

It would be nice to know why I choose these negatives when the positives would mean a more comfortable life, for me and those around me.  And as I learned many many years ago it's all in the thinking.  Change your thought, change your life.  I know this, it has helped get me through some crappy times.  I need to put it into practice now before I end up back where I was.
I am going to be more positive.  I am going to eat healthy food.  I am going to move more.  I may still be fat and unfit but I will be doing what's right, what we all need.